Shorter version of the argument against closing Gitmo: They've screwed up everything to do with it so much that there's no way you can fix it, so you might as well leave it be. And the guys the Bush administration released from there? Everything they've done is your fault, retroactively. And if you have to release anyone, that will be much worse than when Bush did it.

Shorter Al-Quaida: Obama is a vicious, murdering wimp who we mock for liking puppies and children. And, no, that attitude is not inconsistent. So there.

Shorter Supreme Court: How many times do we have to tell you to follow the Constitution?

Shorter Office of Military Commissions: Remember that JAG officer who "A Few Good Men" was based on? Let's see if he can figure out how prosecute these cases.

Shorter me: What, you expect five years of chaos to be sorted out in five days? Chill. It's not just Obama who wants to get some grownups in charge. A good chunk of the military and the judiciary is standing right behind him. Oh, and nobody is going to put those guys in a halfway house near you. If they come to your town, it will be because you have a prison that is already holding some very, very bad people--people who might find it a lot easier to blend in if they escaped than any of the Gitmo prisioners.

Oh, and what would political life be like without some Blago? Shorter version of his visit to the "Today Show": I'm Gandhi, MLK, and Mandela, all rolled into one! Admire me!

And damn, Blago is going on The View. I vowed never to watch that train wreck again, but this is just too enticing.