This is the chapter that should have been posted last week. Sorry for the delay.


Title: Bug on the Cosmic Windscreen

Author: Miss Murchison

Rating: PG

Summary: Spike landed in the BSG 'verse and made a bit of a splash, or at least a splat. He thinks he's there to help, and the bewildered Colonists don't know what to think. This went AU after Pegasus. I may have stolen an idea or two after that, but I've changed whatever happened to fit my plot. For the first time, I'm swiping stuff from Season 3, but it's so altered I'm not sure it even constitutes a spoiler. For one thing, I haven't even watched the episode in question for a year, so I don't remember exactly how much of this chapter matches that story.

revealed as a Cylon on the show doesn't mean that person is a Cylon in this story.

Thanks: to keswindhover and revdorothyl for being such great friends and wonderful betas.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to Joss, ME, and the creators of BSG and all the other stories I reference here. I thank them for creating so many universes for us to play in and enjoy.

Previous chapters are here. (I will get around to posting the more recent chapters on my site soon, but for now the new bits are only on LJ.)

A short Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galactica for those who have never watched Battlestar Galactica is here.




"So, Ginabot, how's your boyfriend?"

"Baltar is not my boyfriend." Number Six raised her chin and gave him a haughty stare.

"And the lady begins by protesting too much. I didn't mention any names, did I?"

Gina's smile was sly. "Speaking of names, I understand your true name has been discovered, even if you aren't dressing the part. Of course, we know that the beings the humans call gods are no such thing, but…"

"But you can leave off that rot before you start asking me about the bloody sandals. I'm no god, and I'm not bloody Hermes, or Rumpelstiltskin either, so you can just keep guessing my real name." Spike checked the next three cells. The Cavils were watching him with brooding eyes, but D'Anna was on her knees, her hands clasped together. "She was at that last time I checked on you lot. Does she do it all day?"

"Just about," said one of the Cavils sourly.

D'Anna looked up from her prayers. "You told me what we had to do to earn humanity. You are the messenger of God, and Baltar came to us as the instrument of God." She bowed her head again. Her body swayed slightly as she began a low chant.

Spike took a step back. "What the bloody hell does that mean?" He searched his memory, but he could find nothing in the words he'd used to get D'Anna to talk that could have been interpreted as specific instructions.

He felt Sharon's gaze and turned to look at her. "You care to tell me what's going on?" he asked.

"I--" Sharon's voice broke off as she gasped and stared in dismay at the floor.

Spike looked down and saw the fluid running down her leg and creating a puddle by her feet. "Does that mean what I think--" he turned and yelled, "Guards! Get in here! Now!"

Two marines ran in. "What's wrong?"

Spike pointed. "I don't know nothing about birthing no babies, that's what's wrong."

Colonel Tigh was fretting. "We've been here too long. We need to finish loading supplies and move on before the Cylons find us."

Adama glanced across the CIC at his XO, but before he could reply, Dualla spoke. "Commander, I have an urgent communication from one of the survey teams."

"Good. Did they find any more tylium in that asteroid belt?"

"No. They say they've found something else on the planet with the atmosphere." She frowned. "They think it's a temple."




Roslin woke to the sound of a new patient being brought into the sickbay. Someone was moaning. Sharon Valerii.

The baby…

She was standing on the portico of a temple. Cautiously, she stepped inside, turning to look at the drawings on the walls. Then she faced the altar in the center of the room. A tall man was standing in front of it, holding something out to her.

She stepped forward and took the heavy book into her arms. He said, "When you see the Eye of Jupiter, your journey is almost at an end."

She started to ask a question, but was distracted by the object in her arms, which had begun to squirm. She looked down into the clear brown eyes of a baby that was staring up at her with absolute trust.




A baby was crying, and Sharon was laughing and crying. Roslin waited a moment, and when she was sure that she was awake and really hearing those sounds, she slid out of bed and made her slow way across sickbay, using her IV pole as a prop.

The curtains around one of the beds were rustling and bulging from the activities of nurses and Doc Cottle, who went past Roslin with a growled, "Get back to bed, damn it," as he rushed to yet another emergency. Roslin ignored his order and the pain that was telling her to follow his advice. She peeked behind the curtains, barely avoiding a collision with a nurse who ignored her to run after Cottle.

Lieutenant Agathon was sitting on the edge of the bed, grinning as he watched Sharon Valerii, who was holding a tiny bundle that rocked with angry sobs. Sharon looked up, and when she saw Roslin her smile disappeared.

"Boy or girl?" was all Roslin said.

"Girl," said Sharon tightly.

Helo pulled the mother and child closer. "Her name is Hera." He nodded to someone behind Roslin. "Thank you for helping Sharon."

Roslin turned to find Spike at her back. "I didn't know Hermes' talents included midwifery?"

He looked alarmed. "All I know how to do is run around like Ricky Ricardo and call for help." He gestured behind him. "Did that, then I hid behind the curtain until it was over." He looked over her shoulder. "Tyke has healthy lungs, at least."

"At least?"

Spike looked around and seemed to realize everyone was staring at him. He walked to Sharon's side and bent over to look at Hera. Then he raised his eyes to Roslin's and said, "Better add one to that number on your board. There's another human in the Fleet."

Sharon and Helo relaxed visibly, but they continued to stare at Roslin. She started to say something, but felt herself sway. A moment later, Spike was supporting her, and she grasped the front of his shirt to steady herself. She whispered in his ear, "I need you to take me away from all this."




"Basket Case, what do you think you're doing?"

Captain Apollo's voice made the youngster cringe, but he straightened his shoulders almost immediately and came to attention standing next to his Raptor. "Taking Spike and the President down to the planet, sir!" He noticed Lieutenant Starbuck glaring from a few steps behind Apollo and gulped, but stood his ground.

"What the…" Apollo turned to stare at Roslin. "Madame President, I thought you were sneaking back to Colonial One. Why would you go down to that pile of dust?"

"Captain, let's just say I'm on a quest." President Roslin was leaning on Spike's arm. She was wearing light slacks and a top that someone (probably Spike) had scrounged for her. She might look ready to faint and her clothes might not quite fit, but she spoke with the gentle authority that had led Basket Case to follow her orders to prepare his Raptor for an excursion without once considering that she wasn't a flight officer.

"Lady wants to visit a temple," said Spike, his stance indicating that what the lady wanted, the lady would get.

"How did you know about the temple?" demanded Starbuck.

"How did you?" The President snapped back.

"One of the survey teams saw what they swear is a temple down on that little planet. But we haven't found any other sign of habitation, so Commander Adama decided they need to go easier on the stims, and he called them in for some rack time." Starbuck was staring at the President. "How did you hear about it?"

"I didn't." Roslin smiled tightly. "But the fact that your survey team knows the coordinates will make my quest a little easier."



Roslin let Spike lift her out of the Raptor, but she leaned on Lee's arm after she was set on her feet. "This would be flattering if I weren't such a wreck."

Lee looked around the bleak terrain. It seemed an unlikely spot to find a temple. But arguing had done no good, so he'd sent Basket Case off to contemplate his sins, and he and Kara had escorted Roslin and Spike on this absurd "quest."

At least the Raptor hadn't sunk down into a sand dune.

"You don't look a wreck," Spike was saying. "You look very fetching in that color." He hadn't even bothered to shrug off the heavy jacket he had acquired from one of the marines. He stood, seemingly oblivious to the heat, his gaze wandering from his companions to the building standing on a windswept hill a few yards away.

Show off, thought Lee. "Thought you might like to take the opportunity to strip down to your little hat and sandals and flit over there."

"I know you're jonesing to see what I've got, but I won't be flashing you today, Flash. You'll just have to keep living in hope."

Roslin interrupted this promising spat. "You'd think they'd have put their temple in a better climate. Whoever they were."

"Hey, we're near one of the poles here," Kara was walking next to Spike. "They had me run a survey for some ore a little closer to the equator. Now, that was hot. But look on the bright side…the atmosphere is breathable."

"Barely." Roslin paused.

Lee stopped wondering what the hell lived in this place to manufacture oxygen and followed her gaze. Damn! The closer they got, the more the thing refused to look like a bizarre rock formation and the more it appeared to be a temple. It was circular, had a domed roof, and a portico with columns. The design reminded Lee of some public monuments back on Caprica.

"Looks like something I saw in Rome, back on Earth." Spike was the first to reach the temple. He was moving easily, ignoring the heat, and having no trouble keeping his footing in the sand.

"There's no other trace of habitation on the planet," Lee said, half to himself. "We've found nothing more sentient than an insect."

"No, there wouldn't be." Roslin had reached the portico. "This is only here to deliver a message. The people who left it wouldn't have wanted to risk it being altered by later inhabitants or damaged by animals."

The interior was one large, round room, with vividly painted drawings at even intervals along the walls. The pictures included an archer, a ram, a crab, and a goat, and under each drawing was one of the patterns that represented the twelve colonies, the same patterns that Spike had assured them were constellations as seen from earth. In the middle of the marble floor was a broad, circular dais about a foot high, atop which stood a large, oblong altar. The only decorations on the altar were a symbol that looked like a stylized number and a large red eye.

Roslin sat down on the edge of the dais to rest. The others walked around the room. Lee was reluctantly impressed. This looked like a real clue to Earth's location.

"That symbol stood for the father of the gods." Roslin pointed to what Lee had thought was the numeral four. "But I've never heard of him being depicted as an eye before. I've seen this place, though. I've dreamed about it. I heard someone say, 'When you see the Eye of Jupiter, your journey is almost at an end.'"

Kara's voice was harsh. "If Earth was here, it's gone. Probably consumed by that wormhole."

There was a long, horrified silence that was finally broken by a familiar voice announcing loudly, "No, that's rot. Earth was never here, and this isn't Jupiter."

They all turned to stare at Spike. "You don't think this is the Eye of Jupiter?" asked Roslin.

Spike looked uneasy. "Not saying for sure it isn't, seeing as I'm no Carl Sagan. But I did watch him talk about the billions and billions of stars a few years back when our telly would only get PBS, and I know that there's a big red storm on Jupiter that I suppose looks like an eye. If I had to cast a vote, I'd go for that."

This revelation was even harder to follow than most of Spike's babblings. "A storm on…where?" Lee demanded.

But Roslin seemed to have already found some sense in the words. "You told me once that the planets in Earth's system are named after the gods. Is that what it is, Spike, a planet?"

"Yeah, Jupiter's a big planet near Earth." Spike thought about this and dredged up another bit of information. "The biggest one, actually."

"A gas giant?" asked Kara.

"Yeah. Like Saturn. Only instead of rings, it has a big red spot on it."

"Rings? There's a big planet with rings?" Kara's voice was excited. "There's a scroll that mentions the rings of the progenitor of the gods. I don't think anyone ever thought it could be a planet with rings."

"What did they think it was about? Mordor and Sauron?" Spike asked curiously.

Lee tried to drag the discussion back to the point. "Why would the scrolls refer to the planet and not this temple?"

Spike shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe it's both. But I'd vote for the planet being the right Jupiter, because it's not Zeus."

"What?" Patience at an end, Lee reached out to give the hitchhiker a good shake.

"No." Roslin put her hand on Lee's arm. "He's right. The other names in the scrolls match the most ancient designations of the gods. Athena, Hera, Zeus. Zeus is only called Jupiter in the very last texts written before the diaspora. It's the same with Cronos and Saturn."

"Yeah." Spike smirked at Lee. "One point for the hitchhiker with the classical education, eh, Flash?"

"So, if this isn't the Eye of Jupiter, what is it?" Lee stepped onto the dais and picked up a small box that had been sitting on the altar. He was about to open it, when his eye was caught by some patterns on the stone surface. He set the box down and began rubbing the altar.

"What do you see?" Roslin accepted Kara's help to climb on the dais, and her eyes grew wide when she saw the patterns that were emerging from under the dust. She let Kara stand next to her, but put up a hand before Spike could join them. "Wait. Before you look at this, tell me what you know of the planets that share Earth's sun."

"My very elegant mother just served us nine pizzas." Spike scratched his head thoughtfully. "Although I remember some fuss in the papers about the pizzas."

"Spike!" This time, the three of them howled in unison.

"Getting there, getting there. There's Mercury, a little hot one, and Venus, you can see that in the sky from Earth a lot. They call it the Morning Star."

"Why, if it's a planet?"

Roslin hushed Lee and pointed to the altar. Together, she, Lee, and Kara touched each bit of the carving as Spike, still standing too far behind and below them to see, described the same system that was pictured there. "Then there's Earth and its moon, and Mars, that's a reddish one with some lumpy little moons, and then there's a lot of rocks floating about…"



Sirens went off throughout the Galactica. In the CIC, Adama looked up and snapped, "Status?"

Tigh gave him an I-told-you-so look. "It's the Cylon fleet, Commander. They've found us."